Learning to Live
by eyrianone
Summary: Life is a journey with lessons, learn them. Loving is the most important part of life. Booth knows how too, Brennan is still learning. . .post season five, how do they find their way back to each other?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Learning to Live

Author: Eyrianone

Disclaimer: If these characters belonged to me I would be a man. . .I am not a man.

Chapter One: Brennan

There is no denying that she is currently residing somewhere resembling most people's definition of 'Paradise'. Despite the dig being fairly localized on only three of the 1000 or so islands that made up the Maluku island area, she has found down time to do some extensive exploring by boat and plane. It is, she's decided, stunningly beautiful and one of the best places she's been.

So far the seven months of the dig have been rewarding, absorbing, challenging, and yet it has left her somehow dissatisfied. She'd thought it would remind her off all the reasons she'd become who she is, the foremost authority in her very specialized field. She thought she'd be completely happy with the work and it would allow her the time and space she'd felt compelled to find. Time away, from murder, suffering, pain and loss. Time away from Booth to push his presence in her life, and all that forced her to feel, back into the box she'd contained it in for so long.

She'd wanted to stop feeling so much for him, to have him be her best friend and her partner. Nothing complicated, nothing unsafe and beyond her frame of reference. She knows she's done a good job of convincing Booth that she doesn't want, and in fact isn't capable of anything more; but her time away has only reinforced to her that Booth, Booth and what he makes her feel, this is always with her - wherever she is.

No matter what she does, at some point in ever day, she sees his face in her mind's eye, hears his voice in her head, and misses his physical presence with an ache that seems to be causing her actual pain. For months she didn't understand what it meant, the truth hit her one day like she'd been slapped in the face.

'I love him, so much it hurts'. The words were Daisy Wicks', and it was Lance Sweets the annoying intern was crying over, but her choice of phrase hit Brennan right in the heart.

Brennan excused herself, and managed to get to her small hut before the sobs began. Once she started crying, she couldn't contain all she'd bottled up anymore.

Hours later, in the middle of the night when she was once again calm and rational she realized she'd discovered some things that she could no longer afford to ignore.

Seeley Booth has become so much a part of her life that the thought of a life without him is the single, most scary thing she can dream up. She's frightened, and she's been frightened a long time. But while fear of abandonment is acceptable in a child of fifteen, in a woman in her thirties it isn't. This is something damaging her and preventing her from having what she wants more than anything else. She wants to be the woman to give Booth the happy life he so richly deserves. To be the one he makes love to, has children with and grows old with.

As she shared with Jared and Padme not so very long ago, she accepts Booth's premise that love is more than brain chemistry and that maybe the chemistry part she can measure comes after the feeling, or as a result of the feeling. If she's being frank and honest with herself - she knew she wanted it ages ago, she'd written an entire deleted book around the fantasy of sharing her life with him, being with him that way. Her bullshit about being incapable of changing was entirely about her being frightened that once she let him in all the way, he'd finally find something unlovable about her, that he'd grow tired of her and leave.

Her lack of faith in him, appalls her. The fact that she knows, she truly knows she left him with a broken heart appalls her. Her rationalizations were just a mask for her deep-seated fears and she's allowed those fears to control her too long. She's allowed her fears to deeply hurt the lion-hearted FBI agent whose happiness means more to her than her own. Booth loved her, he accepted her – everything about her – and loved her anyway.

He'd wanted her, for life – and he'd meant it – and she ran away as far and as fast as she could.

Leaving him masking his crushed heart, and headed for a warzone.

"_It's what's best for me right now_."

She understands he couldn't remain in DC while she ran from him, she understands he knew he'd never move on if he remained there. The Army's offer was a convenient way out – so he took it.

Took it, to run away from all the painful memories of that night, on the steps of the Hoover building.

He is in a dangerous place because of her – because she allowed fear to control her.

If he dies in Afghanistan, dies because of her poor decision. . . she cannot finish the thought, it leaves her unable to breathe.

So many thoughts she cannot think these days.

_What if he get's killed_. . .– nope can't go there.

_What is he goes missing_. . .or there.

_What if he's met someone_. . . – can't go there either.

_What if he's not going to forgive me_. . ?

And this is a huge one. His forgiveness is everything now. On his forgiveness hinges his ability to continue to love her, his willingness to grant her a second chance. Can he, will he gamble his heart again with her? Will he let her change the outcome for the one she wants to give him now?

She doesn't know. And not knowing is killing her a little more every day. Not knowing is the price she needs to pay for all she's done and said to ruin them. And she has ruined them. She blamed him for dragging her into the murderer-catching life when she'd originally given him little choice but to allow her entry into his world if he wanted any assistance from her.

She dated his boss – his boss – like it was nothing strange. Like it was normal to do that after the person closest to you in the entire world tells you he's -_ 'THE GUY'_. She can see the complete insensitivity of her actions now.

She crushed his heart, and then dragged him to her high-school reunion and allowed him to play the role of her husband – the cruelty of that – it cuts so deeply now.

She told him she was leaving and then told him nothing had to change – because she wanted to run, and she wanted him to wait, stagnant, still, forever unchanging – forever hers.

"_I gotta move on. . . "_

But she cannot let him, she knows this, she knows it. Because he is hers, this has been the cornerstone, the foundation of her entire life for the last five years – and she only sees this now. Booth is hers, her partner, her best friend, her confidant, her co-conspirator, her rock, her sounding board, her protector, her educator, her other. . .he is her other. . .he is, always will be, everything. . .he is everything.

Without Booth, she cannot be 'Bones'. . .and she has to be 'Bones'. . .more than Tempe, more than Brennan, more than Dr. Temperance Brennan, more than daughter, or sister, or scientist or author. . .more than any other version of herself, she needs to be 'Bones', and she is only that to Booth. So it follows that without Booth, she cannot be who she wants most to be. All the potential she sees now for her life, all the dreams she has, all of it hinges on Booth. For her, he is 'The Guy' – just as he said he was. She doesn't believe there could ever be anyone else to share ALL her life with. There could be dates, short-term relationships, sex. . .but not love. Not making love, or breaking of physics rules, or 'til death', for these, for her, there is only Booth.

How could she have done this to them?

How could she have taken them from closer than most married couples, to opposite corners of the globe and no communication. How did she voluntarily give up seeing him almost every day, and swap that for not seeing him for a year? How could she be SO stupid! She's a genius – but she's an emotional coward.

She misses everything they had SO much.

And she has no right to miss it – because she chose this. She chose this, and she has accepted that with her choice, there are consequences.

Five more months here will be hard, and while the work is rewarding she wants to return to the life she left behind, that life, the one catching murderers and dealing with death, and pain and suffering, that life, with Booth, is the one she needs to live. She knows there will be times when she's as exhausted of it all as she was when she left to come here, when she's as afraid of letting Booth love her as she was back then. But she will never blame him for dragging her into it again. She told Angela that coming to Maluku would help her gain some perspective on her life – and in this she was most definitely correct. Her path forward is clear, if she wants to be happy, and she knows now what that means to her, she has to fix the mess of things she's made with Booth.

Once, he offered her everything he had, and she was foolish when she turned him down.

She has to believe he will grant her a second chance, because she cannot comprehend a life without him.

Days later, Cam's urgent request for her to return home comes like a sudden and unexpected gift.


	2. Chapter 2

***Contains spoilers for season six and 'Booth's girlfriend – (yuck) who is rumored to be just like she is below. . . ***

Chapter Two: Booth

There is no doubt in his mind that Afghanistan is hell on earth. The unrelenting heat and dust, the unforgiving sun that has turned his skin from its normally bronzed color, to a deep russet brown. The constant state of fear-tinged expectancy that everyone here lives with all the time because you never know when an attack might occur, never know when a patrol will go missing, never know who might be next to die.

He hates it.

He's seen too much of war now, though he feels the skills he's here to share will hopefully aid and protect these brave soldiers, the troops he's training are all so God-damned young, so brash and confident and all so willing to die for what they believe in. He doesn't want to die here, or for this cause, he see's too many shades of grey in the fight here and feels too great a promise weighing on him.

"_Don't be a hero. . .please just don't be you!"_

He doesn't allow himself to think of her much, though her voice and what he imagines she'd say to him, keep him company during the times of worst stress.

He wants to blame her for so much, but knows the blame should rest with him. There is so much he wishes he could undo. The night that changed everything is the one he'd start with, that night he'd like to erase from their collective history completely. She wasn't ready, and for years he's waited, hoping that she'd give him a sign when she'd accepted everything that could exist between them as a possibility. He pushed her before she got to that point and it ruined everything. All the months of awkwardness, or pretending he was fine, they were fine, their partnership was fine, it wore on them both and look where it got them.

Still, sometimes he wishes he'd fought harder to convince her, but he could feel her slipping away and after pushing her once, he couldn't bring himself to try again. Now he hasn't heard from her, and he hasn't tried to make contact, though he misses her with every breath.

"_I gotta move on. . ."_

He meant it as a threat of sorts, but when she understood and agreed with him, that was the moment she broke his heart.

So now it's a mantra, because though his heart is bleeding, his brain knows the only way forward is to accomplish the impossible and get over her. Maybe if he can get over her, he can at least keep her friendship and have her in his life.

She needs him, she relies on him. He cannot let her down, so he must simply stop loving her in this manner she cannot return. He get's up every day and hopes this is the one it hurts a little less that she doesn't love him the way he wanted her too. And everyday though the wall around his heart is a little bit thicker, Brennan is still '_inside'_ the wall and the pain is still there.

He's dating at least. Hannah is a journalist embedded with the troops here and she's exactly the type of woman who used to turn his head. Tall, blonde and gorgeous, she's sunny smiled and easy to be with. They have fun and like a painkiller she takes the edge off his despair. He worries he's using her, but he's made her no promises and he takes it day by day, while he tries to enjoy her blue eyes that aren't as pretty as Brennan's. Enjoys the silk of her hair as it runs through his callused fingers, while he tries not to imagine fisting handfuls of auburn locks instead. Enjoys the sex, though there is no danger of losing himself and wondering where he stops and she begins its sex after all, so what if he wishes he could make love to her – he can't – at least not yet.

His dreams complicate his life further. If he talked in his sleep he would never let Hannah stay the night. They began a month into his tour, before Hannah arrived here and there are mornings when he wakes with her beside him that he wonders when he'll give himself away.

His coma dream world, the one he's secretly missed the last year, because in that world he was happier than he can ever remember actually being in real life. He's back there so often these days. He'll awaken in the morning reaching out for 'Bren' and discover Hannah instead. His dreams seem to be consecutive, Bren's pregnancy continues and sometimes the life he imagines is so vivid that he wants to sleep forever.

So instead he let's himself sleep barely at all – it's the only way.

He asks God a lot why he's having to go through this, he goes to the confessional and tells the priest everything, he holds nothing back, but though he receives absolution there are no answers to be found, and if God has a plan he prays it becomes clear to him soon.

He talks to Parker every chance he gets, and his son is the brightest point in his life. He's doing so well in school, missing his Dad of course, but Parker's faith in him, his pride in him is so real and obvious. Parker is the antithesis of a pain-killer; he makes Booth feel real and alive and grounded – even here. He reminds Booth why what he's doing is important, it helps him feel a little less like he was running scared when he decided to come.

Still he knows he would have refused the Army's offer if Brennan had decided differently about them. If she had wanted him, no power on earth would have pulled him from her side.

He misses everything they had – even though he wanted so much more – what they had, their partnership, he misses it SO much.

It kills him that he ruined it by wanting more than she could give him. That he took a gamble when he should have waited for a sure thing; that he listened to a 'twelve year old', even though he's come to grudgingly respect said twelve year old over the last two years. He could blame Sweets he supposes, but he knows in his heart that Sweets is just like all the others in their cobbled together family unit; everyone around them wants to see them together. Everyone around them believes, just as he did, he and Brennan love each other. And everyone's half right, he loves her, with all his soul he loves her, but Brennan, she can't.

He never wanted to accept that about her. He sees this now. He thought he loved her exactly as she is that he didn't want her to change, and yet she's always told him that she doesn't believe in forty or fifty years and he never could accept that. He always believed he could change that one thing, that by showing her his constancy, his dedication, his commitment to her, that she would come to believe as he does that love can last a lifetime.

It sucks to be wrong.

It leaves him clinging to the fragments of their partnership, fighting what seems like an un-winnable war, half a world away from home and involved in a new relationship he can only hope will help him move forward with his life.

He's not certain of anything anymore, his certainties all deserted him when she did.

Somehow, someway, when he returns to DC and re-enters his life he has to be ready to see her and be simply her partner once more. There are moments he considers this impossible, when he plans to ask for a transfer to another city, somewhere close enough to be a good father to Parker, but far enough away that running into her wouldn't happen. He knows he will never go through with it, he has promised her too many times that he will ALWAYS be there for her, that he will never abandon her, and he will keep his promises. His pain is not important, being there for her is. Because though he must find a way to stop loving her as he does now, he doesn't fool himself that he will ever stop loving her in some fashion. It's the wanting her, lusting after her, aching to touch her way he has to burn from his soul. And burn it out, starve it out, crowd it out with someone else if he can, someway he'll force his heart to move on, so that he can keep his word to Bones.

At least he's made a start. . .

He's glad as much as he hates it here that he isn't going home too soon. In seven months his progress has been limited, but there has been some – at least he thinks so. The fact that his dream life with his dream Brennan continues is worrying, but he tells himself his heart is coping as well as it can.

His relationship with Hannah is easy and pain-free, he's trying to care for her, and she's worth the effort. Maybe eventually they will evolve into something lasting, for now it simply helps to be around her.

So when the urgent request from Cam comes, he's conflicted. He should go, Cam is his friend, the FBI is backing her request and the Army is willing, but he doesn't feel ready to be back there again.

He get's on the plane anyway. . .


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three: An unanticipated turn of events.

She's been home for three weeks and though it's wonderful to be home, to be leading the life she's certain now is the one meant for her; there have been some changes that she's really struggling to deal with.

Cam's reputation and the Lab's reputation have been saved, and that's the bright spot, but working with Booth again is proving to be both wonderful and soul crushing at the very same time.

How did he manage to meet a woman like Hannah in a place like Afghanistan? Though she understands the concept of fairness, she's always known that it's merely that – a concept. Booth meeting Hannah is SO not fair, and though she hasn't let anyone think for a moment that she's anything but delighted for him, the truth is she doesn't remember ever being in this much pain – jealousy is a new emotion for her and not one she's able to rationalize very well.

Her reunion with the man she loves did not go the way she hoped. She hoped he would be as happy to see her as she was him and that when she got him alone she would be able to tell him all she's discovered about herself in the last seven months. That she would be able to tell him that she was so sorry about that night she turned him down, that she wants another chance to answer him differently and that she's as ready to gamble as he was. Booth bringing Hannah with him to the Jeffersonian that first day he was back, it was a shock from which she's still reeling.

Booth is happy again. He's smiling and laughing and proud he went and he's so brimming with life and energy and so handsome it feels like it's killing her. And she can say nothing because she brought this on herself. She has to let him be happy, and be with Hannah and she must keep quiet because she knows if he thought she was distressed it would make him unhappy – and she cannot be the source of anymore unhappiness for him. She will not cause him anymore pain, no matter the cost to her.

On the up side, they have resumed working together and bickering together as if they had never been apart, as if that night between them never happened. For this she is immeasurably grateful. In these moments when they are together, and they are Booth and Bones – partners – in these moments she is happy. She can almost forget that Booth is not going home to an empty apartment like hers, that he moved Hannah into his '_until she finds her own place'_ and that he's certainly not sleeping alone.

She tries really hard not to imagine him making love to Hannah, but in truth she's imagined it too many times these last ten days, and her inner 'green-eyed monster' as Angela would put it is snarling and furious and very tightly leashed.

She has always dismissed jealousy as a pointless emotion, and while she still feels it is, she is still feeling it. Everyday, every time he answers his cell phone and smiles that charm smile and calls Hannah 'baby', she dies a little more.

Every time after case drinks at the Founding Fathers includes 'Hannah', every time she eats dinner alone and wishes he was there.

She didn't realize how much out-of-work time they spent together. No she has so much of it and he's no longer available, so she works longer hours to fill in the void he's left behind. She finds herself with no appetite if he's not there to share her meals, so she doesn't eat them and she works some more.

It's only been three weeks and already she's lost ten pounds and Cam has asked her to stop making everyone else look bad for only working 60 hours a week to her 98.

She'll ignore Cam of course, what else is there to do with her time and she's clearing bodies from 'limbo' at an unprecedented rate, but it's all hollow. She doesn't know what else to do, but wait and see what happens.

Booth and Hannah are happy now, but how long will it last – she tells herself it will end eventually, all his other relationships have ended and eventually her second chance might come. It's her heart talking, her brain is as Booth would put it 'in neutral', and she feels so off-balance this way.

In the past she would have talked to Booth about her conflicted emotions, but he can never know. She won't tell Sweets, or Cam or Angela because she can't bear the thought of them pitying her, and because she already knows she doesn't want to hear them tell her it's too late.

'_Seeley and I . . . we missed our moment_.'

A long ago conversation with Rebecca haunts her thoughts. Back then she really didn't give much credence to Rebecca's theory, but now it's the thought she cannot stop thinking and the nightmare she cannot stop living. What if Booth and Bones have 'missed their moment'? What if that night, and the decision she made have altered both their lives permanently? What if Booth and Hannah live happily every after, and his friendship and partnership are all she will be allowed to have of him. She'll take it, she'll take whatever she can have and be grateful, but . . . now she's in Booth's shoes.

Booth wanted more from her and he lived with it, waiting and waiting for five years, while she wanted what they had and only that.

Now she's him and he's her and everything is so messed up, and she's all alone while surrounded by 'family', who can never know how devastated she's become.

Life sucks.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Something on the edge of his awareness is pricking at him constantly and his gut tells him that things are not as perfect as they seem . . .

He is so thankful to be home, now that he's actually here. His big fear, that facing Brennan again was just going to be painful, difficult and that he wasn't ready to do it . . . it seems he should not have worried at all.

In the end, everything went far more smoothly than he would ever have anticipated.

He agreed to come home to help Cam, and as soon as he told Hannah she said she was ready to return to the States also. Before he knew what he had done, he'd asked her if she'd consider moving to DC from New York and she'd agreed. From there, although they both said she would need her own place, it seemed that her staying with him until she found the right apartment just made sense and now they've been living together for a month and it's great.

Coming home to an empty apartment was never something he enjoyed and now there's just a different feel to his home – and he likes it.

Hannah is so laid back, she doesn't nag him to clean up, or pickup his clothes. There is always milk in the fridge and juice and coffee. Girly scented toiletries have crowded up his bathroom and everything is super clean all the time. It feels like a real home, and he hasn't felt that way about a place since he lived with Pops.

Seeing Brennan again that first day was unsettling, and he knew if would be, which is probably why he dragged Hannah to meet the 'Squint Squad' at the Jeffersonian in the first place.

Bones looked more beautiful than he remembered, as if her beauty was too pure to be captured accurately by his imagination. She was tanned, her hair shorter and she has bangs now. He thought she looked young, and vibrant and just the sight of her made his heart race.

Her smile at seeing him was the one he likes to think she only smiles for him and when they embraced for a second her hold tightened on him almost painfully. When he introduced Hannah he noticed some shock on the squints faces, Cam especially looked a little disapproving, but Brennan, she seemed genuinely pleased that he had found someone. Before he knew it they were back, Booth and Bones, partners once more.

They haven't hung out just the two of them yet, at least not outside of a case. When it is just the two of them, everything has just fallen back into place and it's like all the awkwardness before their separation has evaporated. In these moments with just her he feels so happy because having their partnership back, it's everything and he's beyond grateful for it.

He stills wants her, that lust, that overwhelming desire for her, it's still there, but the hopelessness he felt before, that's gone. Having Hannah to go home to, it's like he can express all of his emotions now and while he doesn't love Hannah – well not yet, she's so great and she so obviously loves him and wants him, that he can see himself falling for her. And he doesn't feel guilty about it, because Brennan wants him to be happy, she tells him this all the time, and Hannah has brought the joy back, of that there is no doubt.

One day he thinks, he might love them both, and as Hannah wants to be in love with him and Bones doesn't, it'll be okay when that day comes. Bones isn't going anywhere now, she's back in his life in the only capacity she'll allow, and he still gets to be with her almost every day. He'll take it, for life without her at all would be unbearable.

He realizes he can never explain their relationship that way to Hannah though. Hannah has asked, more than once about how close they are, and he's told her the same lie he's told people for years. '_Bones is just my partner'_, he doesn't want to complicate his relationship with Hannah by mentioning that he would have committed himself to Bones for the rest of his life in a heartbeat if she'd let him. Hannah would never understand how after being rejected by Brennan he still needs to be around her the way he does. She'd never understand that he loves Brennan, while he doesn't love her, but that he's hopeful he'll love her one day – it would make her leave him in a minute.

And he doesn't want that to happen, because everything is just fine the way it is. Bones and he are back, and having Hannah in his life gives him an outlet for all the things he wants from Brennan that he can't have. It's selfish, and maybe it's wrong, but he's happy, Brennan's happy and Hannah's happy so selfish be damned he's not going to change a thing.

Still, his gut tells him there is something he's missing that he should be seeing, and for the life of him he can't pin it down.

Still on the whole . . . life is great.


	5. Chapter 5

A special 'Thank you' to all the reviewers. I appreciate your support. This story is my way of both preparing myself for watching the start of season six (and Booth's blasted girlfriend), and exorcising my distress at the way Brennan seemed to be so clueless in her treatment of him since that milestone 100th episode.

Chapter Five: Some one knows your secret . . .

Two months have passed since she got home. It feels like a lifetime. She knows that time passes at a completely uniform rate, but if she didn't know better she'd swear that when you're keeping up appearances all the time, time drags its sweet little butt.

She's exhausted mentally, physically and most especially emotionally. Keeping up this perfectly happy pretence is taking a toll she's never experienced before. In the past she was the 'compartmentalizing' queen. A trick she learned in her teens when her family abandoned her, her peers thought she was a freak and she had no-on in the world to turn too or rely on. She kept all her emotions bottled up in neat little boxes jammed way down inside her, and no-one she ever dealt with ever knew what she was thinking or feeling – or even if she felt anything at all.

When she was troubled or distressed, she was the master of hiding it. She can count on one hand the number of times she cried between the ages of fifteen and twenty; or lost her temper, or lashed out verbally – it just never happened.

Since Booth came into her life her exceptional abilities in this area have been eroded and removed. She's not nearly as good at hiding things as she was, and although she recognizes that this is mostly a healthy and good thing, she needs those abilities back so badly right now, she needs the armor he removed to protect him from seeing what's really going on. The irony is not lost on her.

'_I can't change . . .'_

The fact that he let that statement go unchallenged, wow; she looks back at it now and wonders how she ever said those words. She's done nothing but change since she met him, in so many ways it makes her dizzy recalling it.

She should have said _'I can't change back, and I'm scared to go forward._'

Maybe then he wouldn't have let her get away that night.

Maybe then she wouldn't be in this mess; because someone has discovered what she's keeping from him, and she knows it's only a matter of time until the rest of them figure it out. She's can't keep this up forever – it's tearing her apart.

She expected it to be Angela who busted her, but she isn't really surprised it was Hodgins.

Angela is after all a little distracted right now – she's pregnant.

Brennan is thrilled for her friend, really, Angela is going to make a wonderful mother, and Jack will make a wonderful father, and they will be an adorable family and it's awesome and it hurts in a way she can't properly explain.

Since Angela revealed her pregnancy Brennan's thoughts have constantly strayed to her own aborted idea of motherhood. She remembers all the 'rational' reasons she gave everyone who asked why she wanted Booth to be the biological father of the baby she had decided to have. The truth was always that she couldn't picture having anyone else's child, that didn't actually want to have anyone else's child.

She never will have anyone else's child. Never.

So while Angela is suffering from awful morning sickness, and first-trimester hormonal swings that are taking the edge of her usually uncanny intuition, her husband has picked up the slack and seems to be seeing right through her instead.

'_You want to talk about it Dr. B?'_

'_Talk about what Hodgins?'_

'_I've been there remember . . . I can spot someone concealing a broken heart at fifty paces. It takes one to know one . . . ever heard that?'_

'_There's nothing wrong with my heart Hodgins, I promise you.'_

'_Whatever happened between you, don't leave anything unsaid . . . that was Ang and my mistake and there was a lot of heartache we might have missed if we'd just talked it out.'_

'_There's nothing to talk about. Everything is fine.'_

'_Then how come you know exactly who I'm talking about, and you've just confirmed to me that something did indeed happen between you and Booth. I think everyone's figured that out at least, you too voluntarily going to opposite sides of the world. You don't need a doctorate to see that's beyond weird.'_

'_Booth and I are fine. I'm really happy for him.'_

'_I told that same lie so many times. You WANT to be happy for him, but this thing with him and Hannah . . . I can see it's killing you. You've lost weight, you spend all your time working, you never smile anymore Dr. B, only when Booth's around – and then you never let the mask slip. I'm worried about you – hell I'm worried about what this means for all of us long term.'_

'_I'm fine.'_

'_Look, I can see you don't want to talk about it, and for selfish reasons I'm not going to involve Angie right now. But we love you . . . we love you both . . . we're here. Maybe I need to knock some sense into Booth – I mean, what the hell is he playing at?'_

'_NO. This is NOT Booth's fault Hodgins. There's nothing to talk about, everything is fine.'_

'_We'll see. Talk to him Dr. B . . . please.'_

'_There's nothing to say Hodgins.'_

Hodgins left her alone after almost squeezing the life out of her in a hug a large Boa constrictor would have been proud of. It worries her that he clearly knows, but she can't and she won't talk to Booth. Not now, not while he's happy, not while he's with Hannah. If that situation changes, maybe then . . .

Two months and still she hasn't spent anytime with Booth outside of work, a situation that changes when Hannah goes on assignment next week. Booth has asked her to come and have dinner with him and Pops and she wants to see Hank so badly she agreed. She worries Hank will see through her also, that man is as wily as they come, but it's a risk she's willing to take to spend sometime with him.

She wonder's what Hank thinks of Booth's new relationship?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six:

He misses Hannah. An assignment in Los Angeles has taken her there for three weeks, and he knows as a free-lance journalist she has to up-stakes and go where the work is, but he's really noticing her absence – and this is a good thing he thinks.

He's come to care for her a lot. He still can't say he loves her, it just won't come out his mouth, but he cares for her, she matters to him. He's used to her being in his/their apartment, her body next to his at night . . . sleeping alone again, well frankly it bites.

Without her he has way to much time to dwell on the fact that his love for Brennan only grows stronger every day. Just as it did before their separation, being back around her again, even though it's only been work related, it's enough to cause his foolish heart to long for things it can never have.

He wishes he could figure out how to make it stop, but it seems Gordon Gordon is right as usual . . ._'the heart wants what the heart wants . . .we rarely have a say in the matter.'_

His heart has wanted Brennan from the first moment he saw her, and stupid stubborn organ that it is, it still does.

With Hannah away he recently spent an evening with his grandfather and Brennan too, he asked her to join them for dinner – mainly because Hank was insistent on seeing her. It proved to be a painful night for him, in more ways than one.

It's been clear from the moment he introduced them that Brennan and Hank Booth would be firm friends. His grandfather adores her and has convinced himself that as all Booth men are the 'one-woman' kind, Brennan is the only woman for his grandson.

He cannot disagree with Pops – he knows what Pops sees when he looks at them together, he's always seen it too; but it's impossible to explain to Pops that Brennan doesn't want it also.

'_Nonsense shrimp, she's skittish is all. Had a hard childhood like you did shrimp, but that gal loves you.'_

Hank won't hear him when he tries to explain that he tried, that he only left for Afghanistan because she didn't want him.

'_If she needs more time shrimp . . . you gotta give her what she needs . . . she'll come round.'_

Because of the way Hank feels about Brennan, he flatly refuses to acknowledge Hannah as Booth's girlfriend at all. On the three occasions the two of them have met, Hank was as prickly as a pear and kept calling her _'shrimp's buddy'_.

Hannah noticed of course that Hank was decidedly frosty towards her, but when Booth lied and told her was always like that with his girlfriends she laughed and accepted it easily enough.

It's too easy to lie to Hannah he thinks . . . he's never found it easy to lie to Brennan. Lying bothers him, always has, it's completely contrary to his nature. What bothers him the most is that he tells himself it's a lie to protect Hannah, to protect her feelings, but that's just another lie isn't it. He's protecting himself here, safeguarding against the need to answer hard questions from Hannah that he's not prepared too.

He doesn't want to loose her; she's a necessary coping mechanism – how sad is that? That a beautiful, intelligent, vivacious woman who's crazy about him, is being used as a tool – despite his real feelings for her – he knows it's not right, not fair to her, but he can't stop.

He's got to buy himself the time to fall in love with her; when he can love them both at least he can commit to the one who wants him.

And it is working. He truly misses Hannah right now. It's not the same as the way he missed Brennan the seven months he was away in Afghanistan, nor is it the way he way he still misses spending quality time with Brennan outside of work – that little part of their partnership that is still absent, even if the rest of it has come back intact. But he does miss her smile and her easy laughter. He misses the talking and watching Hockey together. Hannah is like him, they like the same things and they have the same beliefs, they have never really argued and it's nice to be so comfortable with a woman.

Still, with Hannah away he had decided to pursue some 'out-of-work' time with Brennan,

and as Pops was always nagging him about her he asked and she accepted. It didn't go quite the way he thought it would. Of course Pops kept insinuating that the two of them were secretly together and Brennan, instead of setting Hank straight, which Booth would have expected; instead she played along and she smiled and she flirted with him and it broke his heart all over again that he knew it was an act for Hank's benefit.

Brennan looked stunning that night; if a little thinner and a little tired – she's working too hard again he assumed and he made a mental note to talk to her about it. Still . . . he's never met anyone more beautiful in real life than Brennan is. It's a less obvious kind of gorgeous than some women for sure, but she's all natural, nothing faked, or pretended. In a simple blue sweater and jeans with boots, hair in a ponytail and a scrubbed face – she's luminous and real and as always she makes him ache.

He couldn't wait for the night to end and he never wanted it too all at the same time. Talk about tied in knots. He's been a little freaked out ever since that night ten days ago and frankly the sooner Hannah gets back the happier he'll be.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: The boats of hope in the Ocean of Despair.

It's been three and half months since she got home, she wonders why she knows this so exactly, why marking the passage of time is a fixation she's acquired. Deep down inside the answer to this question resides but it's painful to acknowledge it. She's been aware of Booth's relationship with Hannah for this amount of time; been forced to face the grim reality of a world where Booth is very definitely moving on and leaving her behind him.

In truth, Booth and Hannah have been dating for six months now, as close as she can estimate from the things he's said. Six months is a longer period of time than any of the relationships she's been involved in – unless she counts her partnership with Booth as a relationship, and she likes to think it is. It's the only way to make his six months with Hannah seem small and insignificant.

She wants it to be insignificant, and yet Booth appears happy, and she wants his happiness more than anything. If he and Hannah were to split up, Booth would be unhappy, that's become clear to her. He so obviously cares for this woman, and Brennan cannot blame him for that. Aside from the fact that Hannah's existence has broken her heart – a term she understands now as she feels splintered into pieces – she cannot find anything to dislike about the woman Booth has chosen. She's smart, humorous, beautiful and most important she obviously loves Booth and wants to give him anything and everything she can.

Brennan had hoped the relationship wouldn't work and would come to a natural end, and yet it appears to work fine and she now sees no ending in sight. Booth is the kind of guy who is looking for commitment, who actually embraces the idea of forever with the same person. He seems to have found a match in Hannah, someone just like him, without all the stress of opposing world views. Hannah is even Catholic.

Why would Booth ever contemplate giving that up for a romance bound to have problems? It makes more sense for them to only be partners.

For the first time in her life, she doesn't care about the logical, rational choice; she wants the insane idea, the incompatible world views, the drama, the arguments, and the lifelong commitment.

She just wants Booth, and she wants it more and more every single day.

Hell, though she's never believed in the concept, is being in love with someone you cannot have.

Her dinner with Hank and Booth has become a cherished memory that she relives all the time. For one night, she allowed herself to behave as she wants too, to laugh and flirt with Booth and play along with Hank's idea that the two of them are secretly together. It felt like such a family thing to her, and Hank, he feels like her grandfather too. She loves him, for making Booth the man he grew up to be, for his love of life, for his confiding in her. Hank doesn't approve of Hannah – at least he doesn't approve of her relationship with Booth, he made that very plain to Brennan when Booth wasn't there to overhear.

'_Don't you worry too much about that Temperance . . . Shrimp will figure out that he's got himself all backwards here. I know what you told him, but I know how you really feel . . . you gotta trust him, he'll find his back to you 'cause Shrimp will always follow his heart in the end.'_

Hank's words have become a beacon of hope, a lifeboat for her in what feels like an ocean of despair. Hank is old, but he's wise, and no-one knows Booth better than he does. If Hank believes that Booth will follow his heart back to her, then maybe he hasn't yet fallen really in love with Hannah. Maybe he only thinks he has, and when he tries to commit himself more he'll find himself unable to take a step that would be irrevocable.

And he'll end things with Hannah.

And Brennan will be able to tell him how sorry she is for everything she's put him through.

There were moments that evening when she caught Booth looking at her like he used too; in a way she now recognizes. There was heat in his gaze, like a caress on her skin. Times when his eyes seemed almost black and the emotions swimming in the depths looked like love and desire. Instances when she knew that a part of him still wants her, still needs her.

It took every ounce of control she possessed not to launch herself at him when he looked at her that way. The need to be in his arms, to press her lips on his, to feel his strength beneath her, around her . . . it was overwhelming. Now that she's acknowledged her feelings, reconciled herself with what her wants and desires really are, every time she looks at him now she feels these urges more. For one night at least she was determined to allow herself the freedom to feel it, to express even a small part of it. She has no idea what Booth thought about her performance, he probably thought it was simply that, a performance for his Grandfather. If he only knew the truth, that she simply could not deny herself a little bit of an outlet, even for just a few hours.

It was cathartic, and since it made Booth look at her like he was seeing her again, then it was worth it. Maybe he won't find his way back without help?

The thought crosses her mind and she cannot let it go. It rolls around like pebble in her shoe, poking her conscious mind, prodding at her will.

She wants to do the right thing, the honorable thing and let him be happy and leave it be.

And she will, in part, she won't interfere with his relationship, but she can at least look at him like she loves him surely? What harm can come from that? Maybe he'll see it in her eyes the way she knows now she always saw it in his, even if she wasn't able to name the emotion back then.

She saw that night there is still something in his eyes when he looks at her. He still feels some of what he once did.

She is buoyed suddenly by a second lifeboat, and clinging to her twin life-preservers she soldiers on.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: The tears of truth.

He awoke that morning with tears rolling down his cheeks, and sitting bolt upright in bed swiped at the wetness in awe. It had been a month, maybe slightly more since he dreamt in his 'coma-dream world' and he had been thinking the dreams had finally abated. He hadn't been sure whether to be relieved or sad about their passing, but last night he was back there with a vengeance. So vivid was the episode that the wetness on his face doesn't surprise him, but it makes the emotions from the dream even more real – they exist here – in his reality too.

Hannah stirred in her sleep beside him, and casting a swift glance at his alarm clock he had decided it wasn't too early to get ready for work, there was no chance he'd risk sleeping again now; he needed some processing time.

Over breakfast he must had been very obviously distracted because he had to ask Hannah to repeat herself on three separate occasions, in the end she seemed mildly miffed at him when she departed for work herself.

He'd driven to work in a complete haze, one of those car journeys where you arrive at your destination safely, but if asked to recall the trip would have remembered precisely nothing about it.

In his office, he'd sat starting at the start-up screen of his computer for an hour. In the end going to see Dr. Sweets was the only thing he knew to do.

To say Sweets was surprised by his visit was the understatement of a century. The young protégé had not seen Booth in work except for a quick assessment when Booth had returned to work after Afghanistan. Sweets had tried to get Booth and Brennan to see him together again, but so far had not managed to get agreement from either of them to continue what had, prior to their absences been regular meetings. Sweets knew the pair of them were dodging him, but they asked for some assistance on cases, so he'd accepted the status quo, not wanting to alienate his favorite patients – his friends – any further.

Once Sweets had calmed down from 'overly eager puppy' to 'smart, educated and insightful-bastard professional', Booth had dropped his bomb. Pacing around the Doctor's small office he'd voiced his mind.

'_Do you remember what I told you about my coma-dream, I mean do you remember I told you in my dream, Brennan was pregnant?'_

Sweets had nodded. _'It was one of the last things you remember from your dream, she had told you and not long after you woke up.'_

'_The whole time I was away in Afghanistan, I had dreams, really vivid ones where I was back there.'_

Again Sweets had nodded. _'That's not unusual. Your leaving was brought about by Dr. Brennan's own departure, and you were happy in your coma, it's not at all strange that your subconscious, while in such a stressful environment went to your – 'happy-place' if you will.'_

'_Is it odd that I dreamt consecutively, that one dream would continue where the last one had ended?'_

It had taken Sweets a moment to answer. '_It's interesting, dreams are not usually so organized, but I've read of it happening before – there have been some interesting dream studies conducted by . . . but you're not interested in that.'_

Booth had shaken his head. _'Since I've been back, they've gradually gone away . . . I thought it was over, but last night, last night I dreamt Brennan gave birth to our daughter and when I woke up I was actually crying tears of joy. It was the most vivid dream I've EVER had Sweets . . . EVER. It was SO real . . . I feel like it happened . . . I can't get the images out of my head Sweets . . .and when I woke up it scared me to death because even though I tell myself I'll get over her; that I'm falling for Hannah and that I can still have the kind of life I want . . . I can't. I want that dream Sweets, I want that dream and all the things I had in it. I want Bones and I want us to be a family – to have a family. If I can't have that with her . . . then I'm perfectly sure I don't want it with someone else.'_

Torn between wanting to 'high-five' Booth for finally acting like a man in love again; and wanting to tell him the ugly truth that Brennan might never be able to give him those things, Sweets settled on some age-old advice. _'Then you shouldn't be dating yet Agent Booth, it's not fair to Hannah, and it's not fair to yourself and Dr. Brennan either . . . time and patience are what Dr. Brennan still needs Booth, and if you still want her this badly, you owe it to her to give her both.'_

Slumping into an armchair, Booth had buried his face in his hands and groaned. His response was muffled. _'Am I a fool to still want her this badly? Am I a fool to hold out hope she can get past her walls and take a chance?'_

Sweets shook his head with a sad smile. _'You're no fool Agent Booth, no fool at all. I have always believed that Dr. Brennan feels as much for you as you do for her . . . she's just less able to show it. But I do believe she wants too.'_

Booth had looked up and smiled back. _'God I hope your right this time Sweets . . . '_

'_You have a lot of faith in her Agent Booth, hold on to that.'_

After leaving the psychologists office Booth had finally managed to get some work done and by the afternoon the craving to see Brennan had become so strong he finally gave in to it. Grabbing his car keys, he'd fled the Hoover building and headed for the Jeffersonian feeling a strange mix of anticipation and dread. The anticipation was all for Brennan, the dread . . . breaking up with Hannah was going to be hard.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: Unanticipated, wonderful things.

For the first time in months she finds herself eating alone and actually feeling hungry, she notices this absent-mindedly as she digs into her salad at her desk and allows herself some time to reflect on the last few days. Something unanticipated and wonderful has occurred and it's left her reeling a little – in a good way – in its wake.

Arriving at her office at the crack of dawn three days ago she was almost startled out of her skin when a sleepy male voice from the direction of her office couch mumbled, _'God Bones, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?'_

She span around so fast she almost over-balanced, to discover her partner apparently spending the night at the Jeffersonian. Booth was in a t-shirt and jeans, his head pillowed on a cushion, looking deliciously disheveled.

'_I believe . . ._' she'd replied, '_that should me my question for you_. _Is something wrong Booth, did I miss your call?'_

'_No Bones. I never called; I just . . . needed a place to crash.'_

'_And there's something wrong with your own bed, in your own apartment?'_

'_Hannah's there. Look Bones, I don't want to get into a long explanation right now . . . I promise I will at some point, but safe to say Hannah doesn't need me around right now and until she can pack her stuff and move in to a hotel, your couch seemed a more exciting prospect than the chair in my office.'_

Hannah was moving out?

'_What are you going to tell me?'_

Opening his eyes finally and swinging around into a seating position, Booth raised red rimmed eyes at her. The evidence of his distress sent her stomach into a tailspin. She'd rushed to his side, kneeled before him and taken his hands in hers before she could analyze any of it.

'_Tell me.'_

Touched by her concern, Booth had summoned a weak smile and freeing a hand had cupped her cheek in his palm; his skin hot against her face.

'_We broke up.'_

Inside her something nameless broke loose, squashing it she simply asked him what happened.

'_I don't love her; and it's not fair to her to continue our relationship when that isn't going to change.'_

'_It isn't?'_ Her voice sounded strangled to her ears, she hoped he didn't notice.

'_No Bones. It isn't. She deserves more than I can ever give her, and I don't want to hurt her any more than I already have.'_

'_I'm sorry Booth_.' She didn't know what else to say. Inside she felt elated, she felt like an enormous weight had been removed from her soul and only in the absence of this weight did she truly know how great the burden of it had really been.

She'd hugged him hard and gone to find the pair of them some coffee, her mind whirling and her hands shaking.

He'd left for work not long after and they hadn't discussed it further. Since then she's felt lighter than she has in maybe a year. All the months of living with the crushing grief she's felt since Hannah came into her life have left an indelible mark though, and the memory of that grief will live with her always now. She will never let herself forget what it felt like to know that Booth belonged to another woman in the one way she's never known him.

Sure he's had other girlfriends, other lovers in the course of their partnership, but back then she didn't fully understand what he meant to her. She realizes now that there were moments, even back then, that she was jealous of those other women – Cam included – but as she hadn't allowed herself to perceive him as anything other than her partner, she'd dismissed those fleeting feelings as nothing.

To finally come to terms with what her partnership with Booth really means, and right on the heels of that to lose him before she could claim him – this life lesson is one she's bound and determined will not need repeating before its learned.

There will not be another Hannah in Booth's life, not if Brennan has any say about it. And she's fairly confident she'll have a say about it, because while Booth is upset, it's more like he's disappointed with himself for hurting Hannah. Since that morning on her sofa when it was evident he'd been crying, he's not exhibiting any symptoms of a broken heart, and she knows what she's looking for here. His demeanor the last two days especially has been nothing if not classic Booth – smiling, quipping, and he's eaten lunch with her both days even though they have no case at present and his presence at the Jeffersonian could be considered questionable.

She loves it, and true to the decision she made for herself, she's allowing what she feels for him to show in her eyes. She looks right in his when he talks to her, smiles at him all the time, she's even flirted a little, though she's been very careful here because after all, he was with Hannah a long time, and it's only today that Hannah is moving out.

Part of her hurts for Hannah. Empathizes with what must be a very difficult time in this woman's life – losing Booth – Brennan knows first hand the pain of this, and she is sorry for her. But most of her simply hopes that she is the reason their relationship failed, that Hank is right and that Booth has followed the dictates of his heart and that his heart is still hers. If she was religious she would pray this was the reason, being a scientist she's simply extrapolating from the data she has to hand.

As she is looking at him with her heart in her eyes, so is he reciprocating. Where he has been most careful not to touch her much since his return; now he's once more steering her with a hand at the small of her back. His gaze seems never to leave her if he's watching her work, and she can feel the weight of it, her very skin seems to tingle wherever it lands. She's so conscious of him right now that every moment they've spent together since he told her things were over with Hannah has felt electrified, charged in some way she could never explain scientifically.

Where there has always been an attraction between them, now their chemistry has almost become like a physical presence in the room, she desperately wants to talk to him about it, to tell him all the things she's been holding back, and yet she knows she needs to allow some space between the end of his relationship with Hannah and this particular discussion.

Being patient has never been this hard before; but she can be patient now – Hannah is gone.


	10. Chapter 10

Once again my sincere thanks to all the reviewers – I am humbled by some of your comments and so thrilled you are enjoying this tale.

Chapter Ten: Places we've never been before.

His phone beeps with an incoming text message and when he looks the simple message causes his stomach to do odd things and his face to smile. The message is from Brennan and reads, "Dinner tonight?"

He enters, "Love to. Let's go for a drink at the Founding Fathers first, pick u up at the lab at 7."

He waits for her reply; it only takes a few seconds. "See u then."

Since the night/early morning he confessed to Brennan that he'd ended things with Hannah he's noticed a definite change in Brennan's behavior and he's come to realize that the something his gut kept niggling him about was her. She's changed. His return from Afghanistan with Hannah in tow has been a source of distress for her despite her consistent claims that she was happy he was happy. He doesn't doubt that his happiness is important to her, but he's come to see that she wasn't happy the entire time he was involved with someone else.

He can't believe now that he didn't see the signs before. The over-working – even for her - , the weight loss and dark circles under her eyes. Her careful inquiries and avoidance of Hannah's name, so different from her usual blunt manner. The watchful and concerned glances she kept receiving from the squint-squad. He'd been so wrapped up in trying to get over her, so busy try to build something with Hannah that he missed clear indicators that something changed for Brennan while she was away and that it concerns her feelings for him. She had as much time to think as he did while she was away, if he knows her half as well as he thinks he does, then he's come to the conclusion she's changed her mind about them taking a chance on something more.

And because he came home with Hannah, she couldn't say a word.

He knows the hell it must have been for her, when she was involved with Sully it nearly tore him apart, and he couldn't say anything either.

Now he and Hannah have parted it's also obvious to him that Brennan is waiting for the right time to tell him she's changed her mind. She's allowing him time to put Hannah behind them, and he's grateful for that.

Breaking Hannah's heart wasn't easy, in fact it was one of the hardest things he's ever done because he knew all the blame for the mess they were in was his fault. He's always been such an honest person, a selfless person, this is his true nature, and the person Hannah met and fell for wasn't capable of being either.

Hannah met a wounded soldier, and none of the wounds were visible.

Having to admit his deceit to her, and to witness the destruction it wrote on her was awful, he can't remember it without cringing.

She was making them dinner the evening he told her. Having spent the night dreaming of Brennan giving birth to their baby girl, the life he wanted had spent the day hovering around him. Every time he shut his eyes he could recall with perfect clarity his daughter's face, and the way she felt nestled in his arms. This perfect scrap of humanity that was the evidence of his love for Brennan, and hers for him. They called her 'Joy'; it was the only name that felt right.

A homage to her mother and a description of what her birth was for them both.

He knew by the end of the day and a quick trip to the lab to gaze at Brenna in person what he had to do.

To have any hope of attaining what in his heart he truly wanted more than anything else in the world, he had to have the courage to walk away from what could only ever be second best.

Dodging her attempt to engage in him a kiss when he entered the kitchen he took a deep breath.

'_I need to talk to you.'_ He'd said.

'_Honey what's wrong.'_ She'd replied. Taking her hand he'd pulled her over to the couch and sitting her on it he'd paced the room.

'_I can't do this. I can't lie to you anymore.'_

Hannah had gone pale. _'Can't lie to me about what Seeley?'_

He'd taken another deep breath – he could say it, he could.

'_Bones. She's not just my partner.' _And there it was, finally he'd said it.

'_So what is she?'_ Hannah asked.

'_Everything Hannah. She is . . . was . . . always will be . . . everything.'_

'_You've been cheating on me . . .' _

He'd shaken his head. _'No. Bones and I, we aren't together. But I love her Hannah, I always have, and though she isn't ready to be with me, I'm not ready to give up on the hope that one day she will be.'_

It was at this point Hannah broke down and he'd gone on to confess everything that had lead to his leaving DC for a tour in Afghanistan. Everything, to make her understand how big his deception had been and how much he'd not wanted it to end this way. He didn't know if confessing how hard he'd tried to love her was good thing or not, but he wanted her know that he had, that he did care. That none of it was her fault, she deserved to be loved because she was amazing, but that his heart belonged to someone else and he didn't want it back.

It was a long night that ended with him on Brennan's couch.

He spent the next two on Hank's couch in his room at the nursing home; not that Hank had any objections, he was thrilled, especially when Booth explained why.

It's been a couple of weeks and he has yet to forgive himself for the hurt he's inflicted on both Hannah and Brennan.

At least hurting Brennan was unconsciously done; he may just have to learn to live with what he's done to Hannah.

Live and learn, isn't that what they say?

He checks his watch, its 4 o'clock, he smiles, and dinner with Brennan tonight beats going home to an empty space once more. Dinner with Brennan beats pretty much anything.

And he's only got three hours to kill. Maybe tonight one of them will broach the topic on both their minds. He thinks he might be ready.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: Entropy be damned.

It's a rainy Saturday morning in DC and with no work today she indulges in the luxury of a significant lie-in; not something she's felt like doing in more months that she cares to think about today. Snuggling back down under her duvet she stretches like a cat and revels in the simple fact that she's alive; and happy.

There are dramatic changes about to occur in her life and she's so thrilled and excited about what's coming that she feels what she imagines a small child feels on Christmas morning. Two days ago she sent Booth a text message asking him to have dinner with her, and while they've eaten dinner together a thousand times before in her head this was different and somehow she knew without needing to ask that it was different for him too.

This dinner was a 'date'. Not that either of them had said that, but she'd intended it that way when she asked him to join her, and somehow she knew he read that intention when he'd replied that he'd love too.

Though Hannah has only been gone a few weeks she's been living with her own change of heart for many months now, and her longing to move them both forward to where she knows they could be has become distracting in the extreme. Booth still wants her, this much she knows and while she has only his break-up with Hannah as evidence of this fact, she believes this to be true somewhere deep in her soul.

She's been granted a second chance at having the life she wants and she intends to grab for it and hold on with both hands and every last ounce of strength she possesses.

Asking him for a date seemed the first logical step, and a date is exactly what it was.

He picked her up from work, and one look in his expressive eyes had her stomach turning cartwheels. He'd changed out of his work suit and into smart jeans with a simple white shirt, she'd changed into jeans and his favorite purple blouse, the one he's told her three times makes her blue eyes incredible.

They sat at the table she's always thought of as 'theirs' at the Founding Fathers, and after a couple of glasses of wine she suggested Sid's for dinner. Booth agreed with an easy grin and they headed out.

She doesn't remember what they ate, or where they sat at Sid's or even if Sid commentated on where the hell they've both been the last year . . . all she remembers are the easy conversation and the warmth and longing in Booth's eyes as they looked into hers. They talked for hours about Parker and her father and all the fun the two of them have been having together in science club. About Hodgins and Angela and how excited they both are to watch their friends become parents. About Cam and her boyfriend and how blissfully happy Cam seems to be, and how funny it is to watch her trying not to daydream too much.

She remembers Booth leaning across the table to push her too-long bangs out of her eyes and the way he tucked her hair behind her ear so that he could 'see-her-properly', she remembers the heat of his hand as it brushed against her skin and the way her kept playing with her fingers where they rested on the tabletop. She remembers wondering about how strong his hands are and yet how gently he can use them.

She remembers how Sid kicked them out at closing time and Booth drove her home.

She remembers him taking her hand when he walked her to her door and she remembers his soft wistful smile as he closed the space between them and planted a soft brief kiss on her upturned face.

She remembers whispering his name as the kiss ended and she remembers what he said as he turned to go.

'_Sunday is the 20__th__ Bones . . . Goodnight.'_

She'd watched him leave with a bemused frown on her face, gotten ready for bed and while brushing her teeth it came to her.

She'd gone to sleep with a smile on her face and it's still there now.

It's been a year . . . 365 days, one revolution of the earth around the sun; Sunday is the 20th and the anniversary of their parting.

'_One year from today we meet . . .'_

It seems like yesterday and yet a lifetime ago, what a difference a year makes. When she left for Maluku her emotions were in turmoil and she was desperately seeking some distance and some perspective on Booth's presence in her life. A year later she is clear about what that means and distance from him is the last thing she would ever desire now.

Tomorrow is Sunday . . .she can still picture the look on his face that day at the airport, how tight his grip on her hand had been, how she knew it was to convey how important it was to him what he was telling her . . .

_. . . The bench by the reflecting pool . . . the one by the . . . _

'_Coffee cart. I know.'_

A year ago she made a commitment to Booth; a commitment to be in a specific place on a specific day.

Booth hasn't forgotten and he's bothered to remind her. He still intends to honor the promise they made to each other and she must do the same. A year later she must meet him as she promised she would and this time she knows she will have to ask him. Ask him to give them a chance, ask him to let her love him as she knows now she was always destined to do.

She isn't apprehensive about his reply, as surely as she loves him, he loves her – still loves her, she knows now he never stopped. Their relationship has weathered its most rocky period and come out the other side poised on the verge of evolution.

She can't wait for tomorrow to come.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve: To give you everything . . .

He was up at the crack of dawn because he couldn't sleep and he couldn't contain his restless energy any longer, he had to move. He was conscious of his blood thrumming through his veins and his heart pounding in his chest. Having waited so long, so many years for this moment to finally be approaching in his life; it was almost more than he could stand.

This day will only happen once, there will only be one first time to hear her say 'I love you Booth' and somehow, someway he knows this is what she will tell him today, she will make her confession and ask him to be hers. He knows now, after his experience with Hannah, that he would wait a lifetime to hear Brennan tell him this.

He really is a one-woman man, and for better or worse no matter what happens, Brennan is that woman for him. What he knew in the beginning he still knows now and though he doubted, seriously doubted for a while there, in the end he found he could do nothing more than follow his heart; and his heart is hers.

Thank God she finally wants it.

Though he's cursed himself for over a year for taking that gamble when Sweets urged him too, he's thinking now that maybe it was all worth it. Maybe if he hadn't pushed, she wouldn't have run and he wouldn't have gone back to the Army and maybe they'd still be dancing around each other instead of where they are right now.

It has been a tough road forward for the both of them it seems and yet finally here they stand, he's ready, she's ready, and with them both on the same page at long last now they get to write themselves a new future. One they build together that allows them to be partners in every sense of the word.

God he just loves her so much, and he wants to be able to express it, to show her just how much she means to him. How it physically hurts to be away from her too long, how she's the last thought in his head at night, how she's woven into his dreams and the first thing he thinks of when he wakes. He only hopes she loves him half as much . . . that would be everything.

But she does love him, he has no doubts of this now, and she will tell him and it'll be today.

He feels a little odd as he pulls on his fatigues, he's ex-Army again and just wearing them brings unpleasant memories, and yet the picture in his head when he told her goodbye a year ago had him still wearing them when they finally met up again. He wants to do this right, as if he's only just returned and the last five months and his relationship with Hannah are things that exist in an alternate reality only. It makes sense, maybe only to him he thinks, but in his own way he's trying to convey that he's come home to her . . . and that he'll always come home to her.

He checks his watch and it's still only 7am. Funny how they decided on a date and a place, but a time was too precise a year away so it never made it into the mix. He has no idea what time Brennan will consider appropriate, so he smiles to himself, and heads out anyway. Like Cary Grant in 'An Affair to Remember', he'll wait all day if necessary, at some point she'll show.

It takes him 30 minutes to get to the reflecting pool. Their bench looks no different from the last time he was here, the coffee cart has just opened and the smell of freshly brewed coffee mingles with the smell of damp grass and rain. It poured all day yesterday, but today has dawned bright and sunny, it seems only fitting that the weather too should be smiling on him today.

Heaven is smiling on him today; he gives himself a mental shake at the fanciful nature of his thoughts.

His stomach rumbles and reminds him he hasn't eaten, if she keeps him waiting this is going to get uncomfortable so he buys himself a coffee and a Danish from the cart and parks himself on the bench.

Eight am comes and goes and he's not hungry anymore and though it's still ridiculously early to worry, he buys another coffee and paces for a bit.

'_You're Agent Booth . . . right?'_

The voice of the coffee cart guy interrupts his steps, and Booth smiles at the young vendor he recognizes now he's paying attention.

'_Sure am. Good to see you Phil.'_

The young man smiles widely at the recognition and looks about him. _'I thought it was you but the uniform confused me. When did you join the Army?'_

'_I went back only for a year – just to help out with some interrogation training. I'm still FBI.'_

'_You waiting for Dr. Brennan? I haven't seen her for as long as you've been away.'_

Booth smiles inwardly at the hero-worship in the young man's voice. He remembers now that Phil is a huge 'Brennanite' and that Bones actually signed her last book for him, kid gave them free coffee for weeks after that.

'_Yeah. Not sure what time she'll be here.'_

Phil points over Booth's shoulder, _'Looks like she's coming right now, isn't that her over there?'_

His heart suddenly in his throat, Booth turns around slowly to see Brennan approaching on the walkway, and though she's fifty meters away his eyes lock with hers and then suddenly he's running, his coffee cup falling to the floor forgotten. Brennan is running too and though he stops a few meters from her she slams into him, jumping into his arms her legs wrapping tightly around his waist as she plasters herself too him.

For a heartbeat he's stunned. Then all that matters is the woman in his arms and the fact that she's trembling all over. Her face is buried against his neck and her breathing is rapid, hot puffs of air tickle the back of his head. She's repeating something over and over but he can't hear it properly so he strokes her hair soothingly and holds her close.

'_Bones.'_ He breathes.

A moment more passes before she lifts her face to look at him, and he's stunned again at the emotions swimming in her vivid eyes. Her face breaks into her heart-stopping smile and when she speaks this time he hears her.

'_I love you Booth. Love you so much. Forgive me.'_

His answer is a kiss.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen: Occupying the same space.

Booth is standing beside her and his grip on her hand is firm, warm and confident, but his respirations are shallow and somewhat fast and this tells her she's not alone in feeling excited and nervous and almost high with anticipation.

Today has been amazing so far. She got up at 5am when she woke and realized that sleep would only elude her if she tried to remain in bed, so she'd showered, dressed and forced some coffee down her throat. She'd thought she might arrive at the reflecting pool ahead of Booth, but in the end when she got close she'd seen him waiting for her.

The sight of him in his fatigues again had set her heart racing, for a split second she had been afraid something had happened and the Army had recalled him, and then almost immediately she'd understood his intention. He was trying to tell her he'd come home . . . home at last because he had returned to her.

Her vision had blurred and her throat closed up, then her gaze had locked with his and suddenly she couldn't reach him fast enough. She'd broken into a sprint and didn't stop until she collided with the solid mass of his body as she'd sprung into his arms and grabbed on tight.

She'd intended to tell him she loved him today, to ask him to forgive her for screwing everything up between them, as soon as her arms locked around him the words had spilled out, her heart unable to contain them anymore. Over and over the words _'love you, forgive me, love you, forgive me . . ._' until she'd registered a gentle hand stroking her hair to soothe her and his nickname for her breathed softly in her ear.

Then she'd suddenly and desperately needed to see his face and when she'd pulled back to look at him the soft smile and the love in his eyes had her breaking into an answering smile as she'd told him again.

That was an hour ago, now they're riding the elevator to her apartment and all she can think of is that maybe today, maybe right now; he'll teach her about breaking the laws of physics so they can occupy the same space together. She's never wanted to learn something more than this, and never wanted a man as she wants him, with an intensity that borders both desperation and need.

It's scary as hell but she's bound and determined that she's through running from life's scary, messy emotions. If she's willing to kill for Booth, to lie for him . . . die for him . . . then being willing to risk her heart for him is something she has to do.

They reach the door to her apartment and though she fumbles her keys she manages the lock easily enough and when Booth engages the deadbolt behind them she can't help but smile.

'_Turn off your cell phone and unplug your landline._' His voice his firm.

'_What about your cell?' _

'_It's off already. Today is for us Bones . . . no interruptions.'_

The look in his eyes dares her to refuse him, and then he takes her hand again and pulls her over to her couch. _'We need to talk about this Temperance . . . before this goes any further, before we take that next step; we need to tell each other about the last year.'_

He takes a seat beside her, close but not more so than normal.

She nods. _'You go first Booth.'_

His hand comes up to cradle her face, he strokes the smooth skin of her temple and brushes an errant strand of hair out of her eyes and then he begins. He tells her how he's re-lived that night he first asked her to take a chance on them a thousand times, how for so many months he just wished he could rewind their lives and erase the whole thing. He tells her that though he tried to hide it, to make it easier for her, she broke his heart when she agreed with him that he needed to move on. He tells her there was never a moment that he stopped loving her, wanting her, that though he honestly tried to make a go of it with Hannah he knew deep down in his soul someplace that what he was trying to do would not succeed. He tells her about his dreams, about their daughter and how the day he dreamt of her birth was the day he ended it with Hannah. _'A life with you Bones . . . this is the only life I want.'_

Then he tells her he's so sorry he didn't have the courage to wait it out, that he should have held tight to his belief in them, and come home ready to see what changes a year might have wrought for her, how knowing now that he caused her months of pain kills him . . . and here she stops him, tells him soundly. _'You will not blame yourself for any of this Booth . . . you have more courage than anyone I've ever met . . . yes the last few months have been hell, yes it was killing me to think I might have missed my chance, but I needed to pay that price Booth, I had to pay it for ruining everything that night. We're here now Booth, and in the end that's all that matters anymore . . . to be here now.'_

There are tears in her eyes as she begins her half of the story. She tells him how the night she turned him down she'd told herself she was protecting him, but that she saw through her own lies quickly enough. She tells him how much she missed him, how everything she discovered in Maluku felt hollow because she couldn't share it with him. She tells him about Daisy, how observing the intern's heartbreak helped her understand her own.

How she worried about his safety almost every moment and how she missed her old life and their partnership so badly it hurt. How the depth of her longing to return to both helped her truly see what he meant to her. How though she's never felt this way before she knows this is love that she feels for him because he's more important to her than anyone else, anything else, she's just sorry it took her so long to figure it out.

He silences the rush of her words with a finger on her lips.

'_No sorry. No regrets. All that matters is that you want this as much as I do . . . right?'_ It's a question, but the look on his face tells her he does not doubt her answer.

She nods. _'I want it.'_

His smile is so brilliant, so bright; it feels like her heart misses a beat in her chest. _'What do want to do now? I mean this is a huge step for us, shall we just hang out today or do you want to go someplace?'_

She scoots closer to him on the couch. _'I want you.'_ She tells him.

He looks suddenly nervous, _'Want me as in . . . '_

'_I want you to take me to bed Booth. I need to be with you.'_

'_Now?' _

She nods. _'Right now.'_

'_Bones are you sure? We can't un-cross this line, this changes everything forever.'_

'_I'm sure Booth. We need this.'_

He looks into her eyes as if he's trying to search out any hidden doubts, and silence reigns between them as she lets him look his fill. Finally he makes a decision and standing he takes her hand and pulls her up and into his arms. He kisses her, slow and deep and thoroughly, and when they're both breathless he picks her up and carrying her as if she weighs nothing he heads for her bedroom.


	14. Chapter 14

*** Change in rating for this chapter folks, Rated M***

Chapter Fourteen: Evidential proof.

He tumbles her onto her bed in a tangle of limbs but he's careful to ensure his weight falls to her side. His hands immediately go to her hair, his fingers threading greedily through the silken mass and anchoring her face to his as he ruthlessly kisses her.

Once a long time ago they had a discussion on the difference between 'crappy sex' and 'making love' and clearly neither of them has ever forgotten it. It is his intention today to teach her a lesson she will never forget about just how different these two things are. Hes always felt enormously protective of her, right from the beginning of their partnership, and regardless of how capable he knows she is his protective instinct is just too much a part of him to ever deny. But as he kisses her without restraint of any kind he's aware of the rising fire in his blood, of the warrior within him needing to possess her utterly, requiring her complete surrender to his passion. He needs her acknowledgement that she is his as he needs to breathe.

There will be no logic or rational thought here; he wants to free her from the rigidity of her self-imposed nature, letting the sensual, vibrant, giving woman he knows her to really be out. Though she can seem cold and distant on the surface, hes seen so many times over the last six years the caring compassionate side of Temperance Brennan, the side he's going to devote the remainder of his life too.

Bringing them both up for air he kisses the delicate line of her jaw, nimble fingers freeing the tiny buttons on her blouse so he can part the material and let his eyes roam the expanse of her skin. Her full breasts are straining against the fabric of her bra, her pebbled nipples fairly screaming for his attention. Unable to resist he laves one through the fabric, before taking it into the heat of his mouth, bra and all. Brennan moans her pleasure and grabs a handful of his hair in response. Hes imagined this moment, dreamt of making love to her, fantasized about it but the reality of her pinned beneath him, her body finally his to explore, to worship, the scent of her so familiar, the power of this moment floors him. No other woman has ever caused this desperate yearning in his soul, or threatened to yank the reigns of his control from him. He doesn't want this to be over too fast, for their joining to be anything less than all it can be. Fighting the desire to rip her clothing from her, he sits up instead and pulls the thick cambric shirt of his fatigues over his head.

Slender long fingers hands slide up and over his ridged abdomen before continuing their journey across his chest and up onto his shoulders where they dig into muscles tensed like steel under smooth hot skin. He reaches down and pulls the blouse first from one arm and then from the other, tugging her up from the bed and into his arms he kisses her for long moments again as his busy fingers tackle the clasp at the front of her bra. He pushes the halves away exposing her breasts and his mouth returns to worship her again.

'_Booth . . . more.'_ Her voice is a breathless whisper, her body arches upward subtly pleading.

He switches his attention to the other side of her chest, his mouth keeping her attention there as he deals with her remaining clothing. Once zippers are pulled down and buttons opened, he stops for a moment to strip her clothes away, consigning them forgotten to the space beyond the bed.

Her face breaks into a knowing grin that he doesn't fail to see even as his helpless eyes map every naked inch of her. Slender womanly curves and pale sometimes freckle dusted skin glow in the sunlight streaming in through her window. She's a goddess, more beautiful and more precious to him than anything on this earth bar his son. An imagine of her displayed thus but ripe and full with his child in her womb springs unbidden to his mind, he blinks and the vision is gone but he knows he'll never be completely happy until he can have it as his reality.

Tearing his eyes from her body he looks deep into her gaze, a smile to answer hers breaking fully across his face. _'I love you.'_

Her smile widens then she looks pointedly down at his still clothed lower half. When she looks back up there is a challenge in her blue eyes. _'Prove it too me.'_

It is the work of mere moments for him to deal with his pants and when he turns back to face her he notices her gaze has gone straight to his groin. His eyes close on a groan and he feels himself swell further while she watches. Need is a smoking inferno raging within him, demanding he take her at once and appease it, he takes a desperate calming breath and then he moves like lightening, rolling her beneath him once more.

He rains kisses all over her face, down her jaw and onto her shoulder. Then slowly, methodically he kisses his way down the centre of her body until his intention is clear to her. Her hips shift restlessly under his hands and he pins her down, his broad shoulders wedging her thighs wide so he can see his prize before he claims it.

She's wet and swollen with desire and he's ravenous for a taste of her, lowering his head he breathes deeply of her scent before he explores every nook and cranny with his tongue – she's delicious.

His brings his fingers into play sliding his long middle finger into the opening of her body, she's tight and slick, his finger crooks upward and presses knowingly. An ecstatic cry echo's around him and the spasms wracking her indicate the intensity of her orgasm, he's blown away that it happened so quickly, he'd intended to string it out but clearly she was far closer to the edge than he imagined. He waits for her to calm and return to him fully, resting his face against her hip he watches for her eyes to open. When they do a blissful smile wreathes not only her face but sparkles in the blue eyes lighting them from within.

'_I needed that,'_ she says somewhat sheepishly.

'_So I see.'_

'_Come with me this time.'_ Her hand strokes his face and she crooks her finger, he surges up the bed and kisses her hard, demanding.

He's poised at the entrance to her body, his erection straining with the desire to bury itself in her depths. With relentless determination he holds himself back, then looking deep into eyes that seem suspiciously wet with unshed tears he brushes the smallest kiss across the tip of her nose and then with one quick sure flex of his hips he joins them.

'_Mine.'_ he murmurs.

He feels her constrict around him as she deliberately tightens her inner muscles. _'Mine.'_ she answers.

He lets his reigns loose. With every ounce of his skill and all the love in his heart he takes her, over and over pushing them both to their limits. Making love to her is both nothing he could have expected and his wildest dreams come true. She matches him in every way; as strong and supple as she is, she both takes everything he needs to give her and demands still more. Just when he thinks he'll lose it any moment she'll shift and he'll gain another moment in which to take them higher still.

The end when it comes is blinding and endless and the most exquisite physical pleasure he has ever known, and the look of wonder on Brennan's face a reward beyond price.

Exhausted he gathers her close to him and wrapped completely around her he falls asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

*** This chapter also rated M. ***

Chapter Fifteen: Afterglow.

She wakes before Booth delighted to find him still spooned around her, one strong arm anchoring her to his side with an unyielding strength even in slumber. She stretches cautiously, not wanting to wake him just yet. He senses her movement and the arm at her waist tightens, pulling her closer still. Unable to keep the smug smile from her face she settles against him again, completely content.

Late afternoon sunshine still filters through the sheer drapes of her bedroom window, and outside the city buzzes as normal, nothing's changed and yet . . . it amazes her just how alive she feels right now, how right everything in her life is. There is this bubbling sensation deep within her that causes her to just want to laugh from sheer joy – this happiness – she's certain shes never felt this way before. She's where she belongs, finally and in every single way. The career she has is the one she wants, she has loyal caring friends who see beyond face value through to the real Temperance Brennan and she has Booth. Booth who loves her for who she is, for her faults as well as her positive attributes, who is the perfect partner for her in every aspect of her life. She doesn't imagine for one moment that their romantic relationship will be any different from their work partnership, they'll fight, argue, bicker, call it what you will but their dedication and loyalty to each other, their faith in each other, just as it always has it will always see them through.

She can see it herself now, in thirty, forty or fifty years, their love for each other will get them there. The fact that she's willing to commit to one person for that long even in her head is somewhat staggering, but she doesn't doubt her capacity to do it for him; for Booth she can and will do anything, this much she knows.

It'll even be fun, especially the whole 'making love' part. She's on the one hand astonished that though the mechanics are the same the experience of sex with Booth was so fundamentally different from anything that came before; and yet on the other hand Booth has always told her that 'making love' is something different from sex. She believed him even when she had no frame of reference for comparison, now she knows there's a gigantic difference from personal experience. And what an experience it was.

Honestly she's completely blown away by the whole thing.

Sure Booth is a seriously hot guy with a great body, fantastic stamina and impressive sexual technique, but none of that explains the elation she felt as he joined them for the first time. Or why his kisses ignite something fiery and demanding inside her, something possessive and needy that insists he is hers and hers alone. She could spend hours doing nothing more than kissing him simply because he's Booth. The difference between making love and having sex has to be because of the whole 'love' part, she loves Booth so there was an added element to the experience that she never knew before had been missing in her previous sexual encounters. She gets the whole 'two people become one' metaphor now, because towards the end of their coupling when everything was almost too much pleasure to bear, she couldn't tell where he ended and she began and it was as if they were one person. She can't explain it, but she can remember feeling it; and she wants nothing more than to keep experiencing that with him for as long as possible. As many times as possible, forever if only such a thing were possible; she'll settle for a lifetime as that's all she can have.

Her musings are interrupted as Booth stirs beside her, eyes still closed he buries his noise in the juncture of her neck and shoulder and breathes in the scent of her hair. His hands begin to wander her body and heat shoots down every vein and nerve ending as he sets her body aflame.

'_Temperance'_ Her name is whispered in a voice deepened by desire.

She turns her head to see his face and the happiness dancing in his dark eyes makes her heart beat faster. That she can bring him this, that by giving of herself and of her body, she can bring him joy – his happiness is something she treasured, something she knew was necessary even before she realized she loved him. Her answering smile is wide and she knows he must see that same joy and wonder reflected back at him when he looks at her.

'_Did I convince you?' _He asks.

Her voice when she answers comes out surprisingly wobbly_, 'Yeah. I understand now. I never knew it could be like that Booth. How much I've missed.'_

'_You have the rest of your life to make it up to me.'_ His grin is all cheeky charming small boy.

'_Can I start now?'_ Brennan lets her hands explore the breath of his shoulders, the perfect symmetry of his chest. She rolls over the top of him, straddling his hips and pinning him beneath her. His hands come up to rest at her waist but he waits patiently, interested to see what she has planned. She's so familiar with his frame, his structure, in her mind she can see his skeleton, the long dense bones that would speak to his athleticism and tell her his height. She's seen his x-rays and she knows where every once broken bone resides. This is what she knows about his body, what she wants to learn are all the ways she can bring him pleasure. Where is he ticklish? What are the locations of all the erogenous zones on his magnificent physique? If she kisses him in certain locations can she make his pulse race and his breathing go shallow? What does he taste like?

She starts at the top, with long drugging kisses that make the pair of them breathless, and then she tortures him slowly with kisses to every part of his chest. She bites his nipples, hard enough to make him gasp and then she continues lower until the restless shifting of his hips ends in long low moan as she takes him in her mouth.

His hands bury themselves in her hair but he doesn't hold her to him or guide her, he just winds the strands around his fingers. She sucks him hard, up and down, swirling her tongue to taste him, feeling powerful and feminine as he's helpless to resist her. When he's close he tries to tell her, jumbled words of warning she deliberately ignores and when he comes she's only concerned with milking every last spasm to draw out the pleasure for him.

Finally his hips still and he tugs her up the bed, pulling her close.

'_That was . . . hell Bones I don't even have the words to describe that.'_

'_Then tell me you love me instead . . . I find I really like hearing you say it.'_

Rolling her beneath him he brushes her hair out of her face and cupping her jaw in his hand he kisses her slowly, reverently.

'_I have always loved you Bones.' _He whispers._ 'I will always love you, and now that you're mine I'll never let you go.'_


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen: Epilogue

Three years later . . .

The doctor hands him a squalling bundle wrapped tightly in a blanket, through eyes full of tears he looks down at his son and marvels, he's so beautiful. Bending Booth plants a soft kiss on the top of Brennan's head and whispers how much he loves her in her ear.

The exhausted woman in the bed smiles up at him, sweat darkens her hair and damp tendrils cling to the sides of her face. She's about to tell him to go make some phone calls when she hears running footsteps outside the hospital room and the door bursts open to reveal her daughter followed by Angela.

'_Mommy, Daddy . . . where is he?'_ Joy Booth bounces up to the bed and tugs demandingly on her father's arm until he lowers the baby so she can see.

'_He's right here munchkin . . . congratulations sweetie, you are officially a big sister.'_ The look of pride on his daughter's face has Booth grinning like an idiot and mulling over the striking fact that he's now a father of three.

Angela hugs Brennan tightly and congratulates her, Brennan rubs Ang's tummy and says she hopes Angela has an easier time of her second delivery than she did. Thirty hours of labor to bring her son into the world has her secretly deciding that two kids are more than enough, and yet when her gaze swings over to take in the man she loves and her children she's suddenly quite certain it was all worth it and if Booth wants more she'll give him as many as he likes.

She's always thought Booth an amazing father and knows her kids are very lucky to have such a fine man as their Dad. Their daughter looks very much like her but has Booth's dark eyes and hair; it will be fun to see who their son takes after.

More visitors arrive from their extended Jeffersonian 'family' and the small hospital room fills with the love and laughter of a tight-knit family unit.

Booth and Brennan decide on 'Max' as a name for their son, everyone is delighted, most especially of course Brennan's erstwhile father.

Late that night when Angela has taken Joy home with her to sleep, and Booth is softly snoring on a rollaway bed next to hers, Brennan gets out of bed and pads softly over to the bassinet holding her son. For a newborn she thinks he looks remarkably like his father and stroking his cheek gently her heart is full. She's never been more certain that she's leading a very happy life, or more in love with her husband than she is right now gazing at their second child.

Life is . . . in the end . . . amazing.


End file.
